Driving into work this morning I had an awful experience, now I know that some of you will laugh, but I also know that some of you will feel my pain. I had just merged my way into the morning traffic which was moving along at a good pace. The sun was starting to come up. All was right with the world and I thought “oh how nice and warm that is going to feel” when I reached up to lower my sun visor and a horrible, terrible, large brown eight-legged spider made it’s tactical maneuver, landing on my steering wheel. Ok, it probably just fell, but as most of you know I am very afraid of and don’t peculiarly care to know that spiders even exist. But there was one, right in front of me. By now I am traveling at a good speed of 45 and traffic was heavy so I cannot do want I really want to do, and that is to slam on the brakes, throw open the door and do the “oh no it’s a spider on my steering wheel dance” in the middle of the highway. So I do the next best thing, I reach beside me and grab an empty Diet Pepsi bottle and smash that nasty spider, while saying “Oh My God” “Oh My God”. Once I calmed down from the spider kill, I cried a little (those of you who are afraid of spiders will understand). Once I calmed down, again, I realized that only one leg was on the steering wheel, (mind you there was much evidence on the rest of the spider) but in my mind I could see the spider on the floorboard pulling itself, using what he had left of his legs, and trying to get to my foot, once there, he could climb up my pant leg and bit me on the leg. That’s when I started the “smash the spider on the floor with both feet dance” while driving down the interstate. This made me feel better and I knew that I had finished him off, you know, “put him out of his misery” (well that’s a lie, I wanted him dead).
Now my leg is itching, down low around my sock, I must go check and see if there are any bits marks. (I will clean-up the crime scene later.)
